I stepped out of the warmth of my cooking class and into the crisp night air to find it surprisingly quiet. The streets of San Francisco are usually full of people moving about. But not tonight. The change of seasons is noticeable in many ways: the cool weather, darkness sets in earlier, and people make their way indoors. As I approached my car, I opened my purse to get my keys when I found the box of raspberry flavored "panda" licorice I had bought just hours ago, before class.

I was tired, cranky, and frustrated when I arrived at Real Foods (where I do my cooking class). I had been asked to do something at the end of the work day, which resulted in my having to stay a little bit late (I'm a temp so I don't feel any obligation to put in the extra effort, especially when I should have been given the task before 4:45). Then there was the hour I spent in traffic to get to class. My stomach was growling and as I wandered through the store, the "panda" box caught my eye. I loved this licorice when I was a kid. I bought the box and reluctantly put it in my purse. I wanted to open it and eat at least a few pieces right away. I knew it wouldn't satisfy my hunger, but still there was a comfort in knowing it was hidden away for later.

I entered the back room where we do our cooking and could feel the energy change. I walked around checking out the recipes for the night: collard greens in coconut oil, Indian spiced tempeh, pork in a tomato cumin sauce, brown rice with seaweed. More people filled the room, washing vegetables, chatting, observing. As we began to prepare the food, I found myself extremely focused on my recipe: cutting, chopping, squeezing, blending, simmering. The wonderful mixture of aromas from the different foods filled the air. By the time we sat down to eat, I realized I hadn't even noticed my hunger since I had walked in the room.

Our topic for the night was: the skinny on fats. We had used good quality fats in all of the recipes and sat down to discuss the benefits of fat. We talked about our personal relationship to the word "fat", as well as the feelings that arise when we think of fat. Calm was the first word that came to my mind because foods high in fat are what I use as comfort food. Then I thought of the negative connotation associated with fat. I don't like the word. I have a love-hate relationship with fattening foods (ice cream, chocolate, cheese). I crave these foods, but then feel guilty after I eat them. This is an area that my health counselor and I are exploring. I am working to put good quality fats into my diet, so that I don't have to feel guilty about what I am eating. (As a side note, I went to a Wellness conference over the weekend and one of the speakers who is a raw foodist made a statement that has stayed with me. He said, "I now eat whatever I want, whenever I want, where ever I want, and as much as I want with no guilt, fear, or shame." He repeated this twice so that it could really sink in. I wonder how many of us out there could honestly say the same.)

When the night was over, I felt full as usual. And not just from the food (although it is always delicious). I felt full of thoughts, full of energy, full of positive feelings. That's why, when I reached for my keys, I was surprised to find the box of licorice. The sweet that I craved earlier had been forgotten once I filled myself with the nourishing presence of food, fellow souls on this journey, and the interactions between the two.

For more information on the holistic health program I'm doing you can check out this website:
http://www.fruitionhealth.com/