Where is the place I am right now?

I am at an “in between” time and place of my life. I am working two jobs, trying to get my finances in order. I am trying to put my money where my values are. In doing this, I am exploring where I spend my money each month and trying to cut back in the places where the money is not in line with what I want in my life. Money and work seem to be dominating my life right now. To the point where I see myself losing time for yoga, mediation, and taking care of myself. I am trying to balance this, but find myself so tired these days that there isn’t enough time for everything.

There are so many goals and intentions in my life. Prioritizing needs to happen and for now, money (and work because it’s the means to money) is at the top. My goals for this year are to pay off the open credit cards that I have left, to start a savings account, and to build up money in a travel account so that I can begin traveling out of the country. In a spiritual sense, my goals are to continue and deepen my yoga and meditation practice. I am also working on traveling my own inner path, listening to myself and exploring who I am without help from outside entities (no Fruition or acupuncture or other healers).

I would like to cultivate new friendships as well, but that is a lower priority in this moment. And while I may not be making friendships in the way I have carved it out in my mind, I am building relationships with new and different people in my life…which IS creating new friendships, just not in the form I expected (as so often happens). I am welcoming these new interactions and using these people I have in my life to support me right now.

How is it with me in this moment?

I waver in answering this question. Okay, is the answer that comes to mind. But it’s so boring, so blah. I guess that is an accurate portrayal of how I feel right now. I know what I have to do to get to where I want to be…and so I am taking those steps right now. I am working two jobs, 60-70 hours a week. I am tired most of the time. And I notice how being worn down in my body makes me more emotional. I understand now that when my body is tired, my emotions run wild. I realize that I need to stop and check in with myself throughout the day to keep myself grounded.

I am wanting to move through the next six months so that I am at a more stable financial place. Yet I know that I need to be in this process, to be with and feel this moment of my life. So I am trying to take it day by day. I am trying to remember to slow down, to listen to what my body needs, to be gentle with myself, to accept where I am rather than hoping to rush through to the other side.

This place where you are right now
Was long ago circled on a map for you.

Is there something here, right now, that might assist your soul’s unfolding, enabling you to touch and live from the deep center of who and what you are?

Absolutely. There are always lessons to be learned. I know there is meaning behind where I am at right now. My soul is learning to articulate what its wants and needs are. Finding time for myself is becoming more and more important. Now, with the time constraints of two jobs, I have to be discerning in my choices of how I spend my free time. It takes awareness to come home at the end of a 13-hour day and decide to do yoga or take time for meditation rather than sit on the couch and zone out watching TV. And to be honest, right now, more often than not, I make the choice to fix food and watch TV. But I’m becoming aware of that and realizing that maybe I want to make a different choice. That maybe, yoga or meditation or a run or a bath, might feed my soul and in turn, give me more energy.