I'm cleansing this month. I'm taking a couple supplements that are supposed to be pulling toxins out of my organs and then moving them out of my system. I started on Saturday and so far, so good.

I started out with the idea of doing this in order to clean up my diet a little bit and clean out my system, but already the cleanse has taken on a new dimension. It's become more about listening to my body and taking time for myself. I had made a list of activities or things I could do while on the cleanse (bubble baths, books to read, farmer's market, etc). I put the goal of watching less TV on my list, as well as trying to meditate daily.

I'm not eating meat or refined sugar (and for the most part will not be drinking either). Already, my body feels lighter and less bloated. Last night, as I was coming home from the gym, I started thinking about what I wanted for dinner. Normally, I create a menu each week and have ingredients on hand to make the dinners I've preplanned. But for now, I've just bought a lot of veggies and have beans and grains and a few dairy products on hand. So I can create whatever I want to have for dinner. Anyway, on my way home, I decided I just wanted a light broth with some veggies and udon noodles for dinner. Then I cooked up a couple slices of polenta and put some goat cheese on top. It was the perfect meal...just what my body wanted.

I realized how often I let my regimented, structured thinking sort of take control. Beef stew is on the menu for tonight...so beef stew it is. Even if I don't want that. I often ignore what my body is telling me it wants, simply because I've already written a dinner idea on a piece of paper. It seems so silly when I think about it now.

It happens in other areas of my life too. Someone invites me over for dinner or a friend asks if I want to get together over the weekend. I just say yes simply because I have no other plans. Even if it's not something I really want to do. So I'm working on saying no. I've already had to say no quite a few invitations. It feels liberating to make that choice based on what I want.

I guess it's interesting to me that I'm just now starting to think, "Do I really want to do this?" I have a choice. I don't have to agree to do whatever everyone else wants me to do.

And in saying no, I'm opening up windows of time where I get to decide how I want to spend the few hours I have to myself. Last night I took a long bath, meditated, and went to bed at 9. Over the weekend, I spent 3 hours working on my feng shui coursework.

I've started keeping a journal of my daily schedule, as well as bodily and emotional feelings, making sure that I stay conscious of the process.