I made a timeline of the last four years of my life and found it interesting that I punctuated time by the jobs I’ve had. My sister would probably punctuate the last four years by the traveling she has done and Eddie might do so by the music that came out or the houses he has lived in. Thinking about this, going inside, I wonder and question, “Do I really want my life to be determined by my work?”

Apparently yes. Or at least that’s a subconscious belief I hold. Yet I never realized it until right now. I equate work with worth. I think that my work has to be meaningful in order for my life to be meaningful. Or at least, that’s what I have thought up until now. What if that’s not true? Who am I then? And how to I want my life to proceed?

Right now, my job isn’t particularly meaningful, in terms of fulfilling my dreams of connecting with and helping others, which I knew going into it. I knew it would be an in between position, giving me a few years to decide what my next move would be. But if my job isn’t meaningful, does that mean that my life doesn’t hold meaning right now? I think not. So many important changes are taking place in my life, inside of me, that I know this is a significant time.

So how do I want to punctuate my life from here on out? What will be the markers that show progress in my life? I’d like to say inner discoveries and processes…yet sometimes these are so subtle and happen gradually, making it hard to measure the moments.

Perhaps now that I’m setting intentions for myself (each year on my birthday, I’ve created a new ritual), I will use those as markers, accentuating the important moments of my life. Choosing events that are varied and hold meaning beyond just what I do, ones that are a more accurate depiction of who I am and what is important to me.